Veeti Heikkinen

English

26.02.2016

Jennifer Guarino

Writing Center

At first, I went to the writing center during extra help. There was no one there, so I sat down to wait for someone to come. The room was really comfortable. There were desks and comfy chairs, there was even a fake fireplace. There were also Hershey's chocolate on the table, so i helped myself and ate two pieces. After a few minutes, two other students also showed up to wait for Mrs. Swift. I waited for about 15 minutes, but she didn't show up so I had to go to my next class.

At the end of my day, during my free period, I went back to see if she was there, and she was. There were two students working on their own, and Mrs. Swift was in her room. She wasn't busy, so she could help me right away. She started to read my essay out loud from my Ipad. I accidently had a few capital letters left in wrong places, because I had added something in front of them. She noticed that and we changed them. One big thing that she told me to change, was to change my essay from past to present. She also told me not to use the word “that”. She also noticed that my unfinished conclusion wasn’t good yet and she told me to work more on it. She saw that I had many sentences with the similar start and that I used the same words in different sentences. She told me that if I changed those words, my essay would become easier to read. It said that I was going to add a third body paragraph where I would connect my ideas to the real world, so the reader could see how my analysis affects their life. She thought that it would be a good idea.

Now I will write a third body paragraph and a strong conclusion. After I have written those, I will do some more revising. If I don’t have enough words after I have written enough evidences to support all of my ideas and I have a strong analysis, I will make my essay longer by adding words and more summary.