Veeti Heikkinen

24.2.2016

English

Jennifer Guarino

I think that I have a strong start in my essay, but there are a lot of things yet to work on. On my revision, I tried to make my introduction better, but I think that I should still change it a lot to make it stronger and clearer. I also started to write my ending. I still need to work on it a lot. The title that I chose for now is "what is love". I think that I need to choose a better title, because it doesn't connect to ideas and analysis as much as I'd like it to. It is easier to do later, because then I can connect it to my whole essay better. My two body paragraphs has a strong idea and some evidence. The first body paragraph analysis the book me and you. It tells how powerful love is and how it can change a person’s personality. For the first body paragraph, I need to add quotes. I think that I don't have too much summary, but I could add more, or stronger analysis. My second body paragraph of the movie little manhattan, is strong and analytical, but my understanding and analysis of the movie isn’t so strong. It is that the changes that love does to you, will stay forever. I think that I might add a third body paragraph. In that paragraph I would connect my analysis and ideas more to the real life and how they affect our regular everyday life. That way I could make my ideas more connectable with the reader. It would also strengthen my analysis of my second body paragraph.