Veeti Heikkinen

English

26.02.2016

Jennifer Guarino

Writing Center

At first, I went to the writing center during extra help. There was no one there, so I sat down to wait for someone to come. The room was really comfortable. There were desks and comfy chairs, there was even a fake fireplace. There were also Hershey's chocolate on the table, so i helped myself and ate two pieces. After a few minutes, two other students also showed up to wait for Mrs. Swift. I waited for about 15 minutes, but she didn't show up so I had to go to my next class.

At the end of my day, during my free period, I went back to see if she was there, and she was. There were two students working on their own, and Mrs. Swift was in her room. She wasn't busy, so she could help me right away. She started to read my essay out loud from my Ipad. I accidently had a few capital letters left in wrong places, because I had added something in front of them. She noticed that and we changed them. One big thing that she told me to change, was to change my essay from past to present. She also told me not to use the word “that”. She also noticed that my unfinished conclusion wasn’t good yet and she told me to work more on it. She saw that I had many sentences with the similar start and that I used the same words in different sentences. She told me that if I changed those words, my essay would become easier to read. It said that I was going to add a third body paragraph where I would connect my ideas to the real world, so the reader could see how my analysis affects their life. She thought that it would be a good idea.

Now I will write a third body paragraph and a strong conclusion. After I have written those, I will do some more revising. If I don’t have enough words after I have written enough evidences to support all of my ideas and I have a strong analysis, I will make my essay longer by adding words and more summary.

Veeti Heikkinen

24.2.2016

English

Jennifer Guarino

I think that I have a strong start in my essay, but there are a lot of things yet to work on. On my revision, I tried to make my introduction better, but I think that I should still change it a lot to make it stronger and clearer. I also started to write my ending. I still need to work on it a lot. The title that I chose for now is "what is love". I think that I need to choose a better title, because it doesn't connect to ideas and analysis as much as I'd like it to. It is easier to do later, because then I can connect it to my whole essay better. My two body paragraphs has a strong idea and some evidence. The first body paragraph analysis the book me and you. It tells how powerful love is and how it can change a person’s personality. For the first body paragraph, I need to add quotes. I think that I don't have too much summary, but I could add more, or stronger analysis. My second body paragraph of the movie little manhattan, is strong and analytical, but my understanding and analysis of the movie isn’t so strong. It is that the changes that love does to you, will stay forever. I think that I might add a third body paragraph. In that paragraph I would connect my analysis and ideas more to the real life and how they affect our regular everyday life. That way I could make my ideas more connectable with the reader. It would also strengthen my analysis of my second body paragraph.

Veeti Heikkinen
23.02.2016
English
Jennifer Guarino

What is Love

            Love is the strongest feeling in the world. When you are in love, your life starts to spin around your love. Because love is so important part of your life, it starts to affect your everyday life, even if you don’t realize it. Little Manhattan and Me and You both Show us that Love is the most powerful thing in the world when it comes to changing a person's personality.
The book Me and You Shows how even a troubled kid can be changed by the power of love. At first, Lorenzo was a young boy who had a lot of social problems. He didn't have friends and he preferred to be left alone. This shows that he needed a person who cared for him. Lorenzo also didn't care for anyone else except himself. From this we can learn that Lorenzo was really selfish. When his half sister, Olivia, came to his life and she was in need, Lorenzo slowly started to care for her more and more. After he helps Olivia, he feels really good and suddenly he felt really alive. The love between Lorenzo and his sister Olivia, changed Lorenzo from from a selfish self centered boy to a caring and outgoing person. This proves that sometimes you just need a person who you love and who loves you back in order to find a better life.
          Even though love can be really wonderful at the time, it usually ends at some point. The movie Little Manhattan proves that even if the love ended, its effect on you will stay forever. Gabe was a 11 year old boy who suddenly fell in love with a girl who he has known for years. From this we can infer that you can fall in love really fast without having control over it. Gabe was living a perfectly normal life, except his parents were divorced. Before Gabe fell in love, all he knew about love, was that love ends. After he fell in love with Rosemary, his life turned around. All his thoughts started to go around love and Rosemary. This shows how much love influences your normal day life. After Rosemary broke up with Gabe, He went home and saw his parents laughing together remembering their honeymoon. This fact shows that when the love ends, it doesn’t change the past. The memories and  the effect that love had on you, will stay the same for ever.
          From these things we can infer that love truly is the greatest power in the world. It is so effective, that it can change a person’s personality so much, that the person is almost a different person.

"Because love is so important part of your life, it starts to affect your everyday life."
This is my favourite sentence because it is really strong and everyone can relate to it, even if they don't realize it.

first draft

Veeti Heikkinen

18.02.2016

English

Jennifer Guarino

           Love is the strongest feeling in the world. When you are in love, your life starts to spin around your love. Because love is so important part of your life, it starts to affect your everyday life. Little Manhattan and Me and You both Show us that Love is the most powerful thing in the world when it comes to changing a person's personality.

The book Me and You Shows how even a troubled kid can be changed by the power of love. At first, Lorenzo was a young boy who had a lot of social problems. He didn't have friends and he preferred to be left alone. This shows that he needed a person who cared for him. Lorenzo also didn't care for anyone else except himself. From this we can learn that Lorenzo was really selfish. When his half sister, Olivia, came to his life and she was in need, Lorenzo slowly started to care for her more and more. After he helps Olivia, he feels really good and suddenly he felt really alive. The love between Lorenzo and his sister Olivia, changed Lorenzo from from a selfish self centered boy to a caring and outgoing person. This proves that sometimes you just need a person who you love and who loves you back in order to find a better life.

Even though love can be really wonderful at the time, it usually ends at some point. The movie Little Manhattan proves that even if the love ended, its effect on you will stay forever. Gabe was a 11 year old boy who suddenly fell in love with a girl who he has known for years. From this we can infer that you can fall in love really fast without having control over it. Gabe was living a perfectly normal life, except his parents were divorced. Before Gabe fell in love, all he knew about love, was that love ends. After he fell in love with Rosemary, his life turned around. All his thoughts started to go around love and Rosemary. This shows how much love influences your normal day life. After Rosemary broke up with Gabe, He went home and saw his parents laughing together remembering their honeymoon. This fact shows that when the love ends, it doesn’t change the past. The memories and the effect that love had on you, will stay the same for ever.

First first draft

Veeti Heikkinen
18.02.2016
English
Jennifer Guarino

            Little Manhattan and Me and You both Show us that Love is the most powerful thing in the world when it comes to changing a person's personality.
            The book Me and You Shows how even a troubled kid can be changed by the power of love. At first, Lorenzo was a young boy who had a lot of social problems. He didn't have friends and he preferred to be left alone. This shows that he needed a person who cared for him. Lorenzo also didn't care for anyone else except himself. From this we can learn that Lorenzo was really selfish. When his half sister, Olivia, came to his life and she was in need, Lorenzo slowly started to care for her more and more. After he helps Olivia, he feels really good and suddenly he felt really alive. The love between Lorenzo and his sister Olivia, changed Lorenzo from from a selfish self centered boy to a caring and outgoing person. This proves that sometimes you just need a person who you love and who loves you back in order to find a better life.

The book Me and You, Shows how love can change even a troubled kid. At first, Lorenzo was a young boy who had a lot of social problems. He didn't have friends and he preferred to be left alone. He also didn't care for anyone else except himself. When his half sister, Olivia, came to his life and she was in need, Lorenzo slowly started to care for her more and more. After he helps Olivia, he feels really good and suddenly he felt really alive. The love between Lorenzo and his sister Olivia, changed Lorenzo from from a selfish self centered boy to a caring person. This proves the power that love has to change a person.